“But with the same faces,the same places..”
— s plath
Exchanging heaven for earth
Elizabeth Bennet: Charlotte, you will not believe this! Mr Darcy asked me to marry him!
Charlotte Collins, that has seen Mr Darcy looking at Elizabeth everytime she was looking the other way, that has observed how he tried to make a civil conversation with Elizabeth numerous times and has listened to Elizabeth lamenting how Mr Darcy continued to go on the same path she usually took whenever she was taking it:
Perhaps
I don’t wanna be here anymore
Perhaps I’m tired and sick of all
Perhaps I don’t know where home is
Perhaps I never had one
Perhaps home is where the hurt is
Perhaps home left when I left
Perhaps home never existed at all
Perhaps I was never here in the first place
Perhaps I’ll disappear
Perhaps no one will notice
Perhaps it’s for the better
Perhaps I’m burdened down by knowledge of pleasure and pain
Perhaps you….
You, who might be standing outside ready to knock the moment I open the door
You, who would like to say something about the weather or some generic shit like that
You, you’d rather kiss than to have a bitter taste in the mouth for the rest of (what even is life?)
And say you’re sorry.
But wait
No
In there….
There is no perhaps.
Ulrike Theusner (German, b. 1982), Sleep of Reason, 2018. Crayon on canvas, 195 x 150 cm.
Octavio Paz, tr. by Eliot Weinberger, from “Letter of Testimony”, The Poems of Octavio Paz